Therapists get a bad wrap. Whenever anyone suggests going to see a therapist, the other person thinks that there is something severely wrong. However, just seeing a therapist in and of itself doesn’t mean that anything is terrible. It could even just be a preventative measure. Having to go through therapy means that something is fixable and salvageable. You wouldn’t be going through couples counseling if there was nothing to counsel. If your marriage was a lost cause, one of you would shut down the idea and just file for divorce. If you don’t know of any therapists but think it might be a good idea, try getting a referral from your doctor. If you are having a hard time convincing your spouse to come with you to couples therapy, going to therapists that none of your friends go to might help to convince them that this is going to stay between the two of you. Here are a few things that you can say to convince your spouse to come to therapy with you.
Therapists are non judgmental
The number one benefit of seeing a therapist about your situation is that they are completely non judgmental of your situation. Odds are they have seen and heard of much worse if they have been in the position for any period of time. Everyone thinks that their situation is going to be the craziest and most unique thing that the therapist has ever heard but this is far from true. There’s nothing that you can say that is going to shock a therapist. If they have counseled someone in the exact situation before, they’ve at least been through something with someone that is similar. They aren’t going to act shocked or dismayed or give off any kind of extreme emotion; it’s in their training.
They are experienced in many situations
This is kind of covered in the point above. If they’ve been in the job for any period of time at all then they have probably gone through so many different kinds of situations with many different kinds of people. The variety of situations that they are experienced in will likely overlap what you are going through. They’ve seen things that work and they’ve seen things that don’t work. Even if the training portion of the job, therapists are taught the tried and true methods and see what fails every time and what works. They also understand that what works for one person isn’t necessarily the answer for someone else but they will have a list of things that you can try that you probably haven’t before.
They are not your friend
That’s the nice thing about seeing a therapist. It’s the one person in the world that is going to be honest. Friends and family takes sides, have opinions and get frustrated when you think they are wrong. A therapist is not being paid to do any of those things. They are being paid to talk to you. If you don’t take their advice, it’s nothing to do with them and they don’t take it personally. Not being your friend is actually a good thing because they won’t care what you think of them and will tell you what you need to hear whether you like it or not. It will force you to deal with things about yourself.
They are unbiased
Ideally, the therapist doesn’t personally know any of the people that are sitting on their couch. Because of this, they are able to keep a clear mind and not become biased towards any direction. They’ll be able to see the situation for what it really is without being clouded by anyone’s past decisions and actions. They will assess the situation based off what they know from the therapy sessions and not add in any of their own bias.
They are bound to a confidentiality clause
They aren’t going to tell anybody. Research shows that this is the number one reason why people don’t go to therapy. They don’t want anyone to find out what is being said there. People watch too much movies where the therapist tells on them but the truth is, there is a confidentiality clause that protects you.